Monday, April 30, 2007

Five to the Teen

15 more days..... and the count down keeps on.

And so does this headache. For some reason I get it when I get to work. Not even after I have been here a while, but as soon as I step behind the desk. Sad...... I use to love this job because it was so stress free. It was just every once and a while that it was stressful. I need to figure out how to cope and let go. I can't do anything about how others act, I can only do something about how I react to it. Why is that so hard to remember and even harder to do?!?!?!?!

I think chapel today was the shortest it has ever been. A record 17min., if that... WOW

Saturday, April 28, 2007

seventeen

Seventeen more days until school is out.... you would think that I would be working harder on school work, but I'm not. Maybe this coming week... maybe.

This weekend has been great. Thursday was a little rocky and I just really needed some Eric time. I hoped all day that he would show up sometime that day and surprise me. The problem with hoping for things someone else might do is that you probably will get let down. So Thur evening I spent it kind of bummed out. But I also knew that wasn't fair to Eric either or anyone else. So I kind of fell asleep on the couch watching tv and tried to go to bed around 10:30. No luck, I just tossed and turned. Around 11:30 Eric called to say he couldn't sleep. That he wanted to come cuddle... so I told him to come... and he said, well then let me in. He surprised me! What a wonderful surprise! Just what I needed. Just in the moment of somewhat loneliness and a long week. I am so blessed!

So I think we are going to try to go to a movie tonight. We always say that we are going to and then get too tired to go anywhere. But not tonight...

Thursday, April 26, 2007

19

It still makes me feel good to count down...

I have been realizing the last couple of days that I am overly stressed. It's weird how it sneaks up on you like that. I have been noticing that I am over irritable lately. I get frustrated quickly and little things that really aren't a big deal are getting to me more. At the time I know that they aren't that big of a deal but it's hard to change my reaction to them or be effected by them. This is not healthy for me nor is it healthy for others around me.

So the question is, how do I deal better. Life in ministry is going to be full of stress. Overreacting or just getting frustrated with a situation won't help anyone. I'm not sure if others have notice yet but I have noticed and I guess that's what counts.

So I think I need to come up with methods of dealing. One of those might be getting to the gym more regularly. I've been really bad at this lately again. I also think that I need to integrate some type of devotion into my mornings, get a centering point before I have to go meet the world. I need to remember to ask myself, "What am I going to do for me today? How am I going to rejuvenate?" I haven't been so good at that lately. I have once again felt the pressures of everyone else and everything else only to fall into the thoughts that I can take on the world and at the same time I can't do anything.... which oddly enough draws me into overeating so I can cope. None of which are good things...

The good thing is that I recognize the problem.. which I am told is most of the battle. So I continue to wage the war against life and it's craziness. With only 19 days of school left I will survive. I will learn. I will get my papers written. I will take time for myself. I will take time for Eric. Wedding stuff will get done after the 19 days are up. And all this will help my relationships with others.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

26 days

26 more days till classes are done!!!!

And the countdown continues.....

I can check another thing off my list as of 9pm last night. The small catechism and the 28 articles of the Augsburg Confession. Done and Done.

I am also 3.5 lbs closer to my goal of 15 in 4 with 3 months and 28 days left.

For some reason I feel so much better when I can count down or make a list of "Things To Do." I love the feeling of crossing things off. A nerd, maybe... crazy, defiantly.

The sun is shining... people are wearing sandals... I'm not, but wish I were, later today for sure. It's warm outside. I haven't had to run the heater in a while, which saves me money. All of these things are good!

So today I thank my God. I thank Him because I once again die to self today and am raised a new in Him. I have been forgiven and loved even though I am a lost an condemned person. I am blessed that I get to hear His promise given for ME everyday.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

29 days

29 more days...... of classes! ... or I should say left before classes are done.

And the countdown begins. I'm ready for a change. I'm ready to be done with the papers and the thinking... at least for now.

29 days are doable, it's a little under a month. So much to get done before then but doable. 4 weeks really. 4 weekends....

This weekend is a wedding weekend. We are picking out tuxes Sat morning. Sat afternoon we are taking engagement pictures, I think that's suppose to be fun... Sat night is some type of relaxation... Sunday morning Eric's parents are coming up to my parent's house for church, brunch, and talk about wedding logistics.

weekend 2 is work... work.. work... probably a good time to get a lot of school work done.

weekend 3 Eric is coming up here... probably get some work in too.

weekend 4 I am going back to South Dakota to get Eric's ring and get some good hangout time with my maid-of-honor.

In the craziness time will go fast. And it's nicer out again... which means more walks... good conversation.

29 more days.... oh what can happen in 29 days...

Monday, April 9, 2007

Torture at its finest...

I want to do anything BUT memorize right now! ANYTHING!!

I'm trying to memorize the small catechism and the 28 articles of the AC. I've been getting a lot done this morning but am tired of it. I just want to be done. So much to memorize. This is why I never went out for any plays and why it took me months to memorize my oratory piece... and I wrote it! I memorize in concepts, ideas, outline form. Not word for word, verb for verb. But I will preserver... I will memorize all by Wednesday... I will feel better and finish writing my Jesus paper. I will once again be able to read a book for fun.... okay.. that might be a while.. but someday!

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Anticipation

THE SUN IS OUT!

Today I was driving up the hill to work and the sun was in my eyes.. I couldn't see anything! A little dangerous, yes. But THE SUN IS OUT!

I love rain, don't get me wrong. Only because I know that it leads to new growth and life. But we need the sun to do that also. For some reason I think my moods revolve around light. I need some to be a functioning human being... not just fake light either. For real light, the big glorious sun. ahhhh the anticipation of summer and heat. Makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

Today I drive for 4 1/2 hours again. But that's okay. I am thankful for the car to be able to take that drive. I am thankful for the second family which I will soon be married into and already feel a part of. I am thankful for the wonderful friend and finance which I am going to go visit.

Tonight and Good Friday we are going to go to my Internship Site for worship services. I am excited to have a sneak peak at what my life will be like in a few months. I am trying not to get to ahead of myself so that I can finish up what needs to be finished here first, but it's hard not to get too excited.

I'm excited for Easter.... It's my favorite season. I want it to be Easter everyday! I love the build-up... I love the walk through the season. The law.. that we do not deserve what God does for us on the cross, that we can't do anything to save ourselves, and often fall very short. The gospel... that God takes on our sin and death so that we might have his righteousness and live with Him in His Kingdom forever. How I need to be reminded and hear that everyday! Maybe even every hour...

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

15 in 4

So I have a new goal.... kind of a new goal... or maybe just more of a focused goal.

4 months... 13days until the wedding... a lot to get done....But I am about 15lbs away from my goal weight. That is about 4lbs a month. That doesn't seem so hard. And plus summer is almost upon us.. well at least spring, which leads to summer. And it's always easier to be more focused and intentional about getting out and moving everyday. I'm already down 30lbs.. what's another 15?

So there you have it, my 15 in 4 plan. Not so overwhelming... totally doable! And even a little exciting.

Now if the sun would just come out.....