I know, or at least can take a guess, that you don't want to hear this BUT I'm kind of looking forward to Christmas time. I know weird. Not usually my thing and not usually what I would be saying (the whole cold snowy thing depresses me) but for some reason this year I am excited to see the Christmas trees in the store.
I am also enjoying the cooler weather. I finally like to get up in the morning and feel the cold on my feet and the chill in the air. Probably because I'm carrying a little heater, but I thought for sure this little heater would just make me more comfortable and not hot all the time. Not true. Not true all the time. Eric use to be the hog of the sheet and I could have the comforter. Now, even with sleeping with the window open, I am the one who needs the sheet and Eric needs the comforter. It's almost too cold for him. My have things changed!
So I wait in anticipation for Christmas. The time when we can travel again and go see family. I miss family. I miss being home and around family, knowing that I don't have to accomplish anything or have any deadlines. I place that I can just be.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Reevaluate
Have you ever had one of those days that nothing big happened but everything seems wrong and everyone seems against you, yet not.
I'm having one of those days. And I'm having a hard to explaining to myself, much less to others. All the little things seem to be one big thing that is weighing me down tonight.
Today was one of those days that felt like I was just missing the mark. Like everyone was playing a different game then me and I haven't learned the rules of the new game yet. I'm playing, but yet not getting it. I was the odd man out, the one who couldn't get the hang of the game and everyone around me saw it and new it.
I think this state of there but not really stinks the most. It's because you can't quiet put your finger on why you feel the way you do... you just know that you do. You can't point to one or many things that are bothering you or bringing down your day .. you just feel that way.
Senior preaching on these types of days doesn't help. Being pregnant and people having their opinions don't help. I honestly didn't spend much time on my sermon. I didn't have time in all honesty. Plus I am so relational when I preach I can't just make stuff up and preach to a paragraphed situation that does not exist. So I just did something to get it done. One down and two to go.
So tonight my aim is to get a good nights sleep. To do what I am capable of doing and letting the rest go. My aim is to shut out the world for a few hours and hope that I am in the game tomorrow, or at least have a better sense of the rules. My aim is to be able to let things go and to be okay with who I am and where I am. That the choices I have made are good for me and my family. That I don't have to justify those decisions to anyone or make excuses. My aim is to be okay with letting others know that I am happy that I am having a baby. Just because having a baby would not be their choice and it is not something they would want right now... it is something that I want and am so excited for. My aim is to be true to what I want and not to allow others to bring me down and not for me to dumb down my feelings.
So tonight I reevaluate life... and maybe become a little more selfish. A little more cynical. A little more rough around the edges. A little more protective of what I want and who I am. Or maybe that is my hope.
I'm having one of those days. And I'm having a hard to explaining to myself, much less to others. All the little things seem to be one big thing that is weighing me down tonight.
Today was one of those days that felt like I was just missing the mark. Like everyone was playing a different game then me and I haven't learned the rules of the new game yet. I'm playing, but yet not getting it. I was the odd man out, the one who couldn't get the hang of the game and everyone around me saw it and new it.
I think this state of there but not really stinks the most. It's because you can't quiet put your finger on why you feel the way you do... you just know that you do. You can't point to one or many things that are bothering you or bringing down your day .. you just feel that way.
Senior preaching on these types of days doesn't help. Being pregnant and people having their opinions don't help. I honestly didn't spend much time on my sermon. I didn't have time in all honesty. Plus I am so relational when I preach I can't just make stuff up and preach to a paragraphed situation that does not exist. So I just did something to get it done. One down and two to go.
So tonight my aim is to get a good nights sleep. To do what I am capable of doing and letting the rest go. My aim is to shut out the world for a few hours and hope that I am in the game tomorrow, or at least have a better sense of the rules. My aim is to be able to let things go and to be okay with who I am and where I am. That the choices I have made are good for me and my family. That I don't have to justify those decisions to anyone or make excuses. My aim is to be okay with letting others know that I am happy that I am having a baby. Just because having a baby would not be their choice and it is not something they would want right now... it is something that I want and am so excited for. My aim is to be true to what I want and not to allow others to bring me down and not for me to dumb down my feelings.
So tonight I reevaluate life... and maybe become a little more selfish. A little more cynical. A little more rough around the edges. A little more protective of what I want and who I am. Or maybe that is my hope.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
One other thought for the day
Another quick thought for the day.
Jeff stopped by the desk just now. Oh how I miss him. For those of you who don't know he has been coming through here almost everyday for years and years and years. He is mentally handicap but I'm not sure exactly what he has. BUT he is great! He remembers EVERYTHING! There was just a gentleman who walked through the OCC and Jeff recognized him. He graduated in '81. Not only did he recognize him but after the guy told him his first name he knew his last name and the year he started at the Sem. I wish I had a mind like that! Jeff also has a foot fetish so he pretended to walk to the bathroom just to see what shoes I am wearing. Such a classic Jeff move. He isn't around here much anymore because his sister moved further away. He stops by a couple times a week now.
The end...
Jeff stopped by the desk just now. Oh how I miss him. For those of you who don't know he has been coming through here almost everyday for years and years and years. He is mentally handicap but I'm not sure exactly what he has. BUT he is great! He remembers EVERYTHING! There was just a gentleman who walked through the OCC and Jeff recognized him. He graduated in '81. Not only did he recognize him but after the guy told him his first name he knew his last name and the year he started at the Sem. I wish I had a mind like that! Jeff also has a foot fetish so he pretended to walk to the bathroom just to see what shoes I am wearing. Such a classic Jeff move. He isn't around here much anymore because his sister moved further away. He stops by a couple times a week now.
The end...
Patience
Patience.
How does on have patience?
Where does it come from? Can I go buy some? Is it learned? Can you ever have enough patience?
These are all the questions going through my head right after the creepy Saturday guy just left the campus center. (Moe, you know who I'm talking about!) He's not all there, loves to talk religion, but not normal religion. He has picked up random evangelical, everyone is going to hell, things throughout his life. His latest thing is to say that his friend told him nothing good comes from the Seminary... I just want to yell "THAN GO AWAY!" He wants to tell me that everyone is atheist because no one wants to talk religion with him. That's because he is so creepy and gets all fired up by anything you say to him. I finally had to ask him to lower his voice. And all I was saying back to him was "uh huh." I am almost a pastor and don't want to talk religion with him.... does that make me atheist? As he was standing here talking I know I don't want to worship the God that he is selling.
I think the worst is that I am confined to being behind the desk. I feel like a trapped rat having to listen to the crazy guy. I hate that feeling. And I don't think it helps that he is standing up over me and I am sitting down. It's amazing how body language and positioning really plays a factor into how we feel and communication. I also know that if I would get super annoyed that I would just have to walk away and just leave the desk and let the phone ringing. Somewhere I was taught not to resort to violence, should probably stick to that at the Seminary.
The other thought going through my head was... God loves him. God made him. He might be off in left field but God still cares for him. Normally this helps me to put things in a new light and be less annoyed, to have more patience. Nope, not working so much.
So I guess where I am going is... I need to learn not to schedule myself for Saturdays.
How does on have patience?
Where does it come from? Can I go buy some? Is it learned? Can you ever have enough patience?
These are all the questions going through my head right after the creepy Saturday guy just left the campus center. (Moe, you know who I'm talking about!) He's not all there, loves to talk religion, but not normal religion. He has picked up random evangelical, everyone is going to hell, things throughout his life. His latest thing is to say that his friend told him nothing good comes from the Seminary... I just want to yell "THAN GO AWAY!" He wants to tell me that everyone is atheist because no one wants to talk religion with him. That's because he is so creepy and gets all fired up by anything you say to him. I finally had to ask him to lower his voice. And all I was saying back to him was "uh huh." I am almost a pastor and don't want to talk religion with him.... does that make me atheist? As he was standing here talking I know I don't want to worship the God that he is selling.
I think the worst is that I am confined to being behind the desk. I feel like a trapped rat having to listen to the crazy guy. I hate that feeling. And I don't think it helps that he is standing up over me and I am sitting down. It's amazing how body language and positioning really plays a factor into how we feel and communication. I also know that if I would get super annoyed that I would just have to walk away and just leave the desk and let the phone ringing. Somewhere I was taught not to resort to violence, should probably stick to that at the Seminary.
The other thought going through my head was... God loves him. God made him. He might be off in left field but God still cares for him. Normally this helps me to put things in a new light and be less annoyed, to have more patience. Nope, not working so much.
So I guess where I am going is... I need to learn not to schedule myself for Saturdays.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Nostalgic
I was just looking for a wedding sermon on my USB drive and I came across some photos that we took on our honeymoon and a few days after. I found myself wanting to go back to those moments. I want to go back to them more now then when I was actually living them.
Maybe it's the remembrance of no cares. Maybe it is the remembrance of the feeling of simplicity and a new beginning. Not that I haven't had great times in the last year, but I just want to go back there for a few minutes. Or maybe I want to go back and watch us from afar.
As I look back on some of those times I wonder if I will go back a year from now and want this time back. We are in such a life changing moment. We are young, struggling through life, making our way, making our family, and figuring out what that all means. In a month and a half we will welcome or first child into the world and begin another life giving moment in our lives. The beginning of another new start, a new beginning.
So I guess the question that is rolling through my head is... how do we really enjoy the moment? How do we fully live and experience the moment instead of always on our way to the next thing?
So with that I will share a few of the pictures of a year ago that have made me feel so nostalgic.
Our little buggy ride around Duluth when the fog was so thick we could barely see anything.
Boat ride on Lake Superior
At our friend Mary's parent's cabin near Brainard, MN. We stopped there to play on the water and to spend some time with Mary before we headed to another wedding.
Maybe it's the remembrance of no cares. Maybe it is the remembrance of the feeling of simplicity and a new beginning. Not that I haven't had great times in the last year, but I just want to go back there for a few minutes. Or maybe I want to go back and watch us from afar.
As I look back on some of those times I wonder if I will go back a year from now and want this time back. We are in such a life changing moment. We are young, struggling through life, making our way, making our family, and figuring out what that all means. In a month and a half we will welcome or first child into the world and begin another life giving moment in our lives. The beginning of another new start, a new beginning.
So I guess the question that is rolling through my head is... how do we really enjoy the moment? How do we fully live and experience the moment instead of always on our way to the next thing?
So with that I will share a few of the pictures of a year ago that have made me feel so nostalgic.
Our little buggy ride around Duluth when the fog was so thick we could barely see anything.
Boat ride on Lake Superior
At our friend Mary's parent's cabin near Brainard, MN. We stopped there to play on the water and to spend some time with Mary before we headed to another wedding.
Snot Funny
Really quick before I run off to class and work and all that is outside my door, I want you to ponder something with me....
"Where does all that snot come from when you are sick?"
Thanks...
"Where does all that snot come from when you are sick?"
Thanks...
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Sick
I'm taking a sick day today. Well... because I'm sick.
I've been fighting this cold for a few days now and I thought I had slept it off on Saturday. No such luck. I didn't sleep very well last night. The only thing I can really take is Sudifed or Benedryl. Neither of which helps me to really sleep. SO... I have been up since 4am. YUCK and can't really sleep because of the coughing.
My mom suggested hot water with honey and lemon in it. I'm thinking that would help if I had a sour throat... but I don't, just the draining that makes me cough a lot.
So needless to say I am super hot. Or something. And the fight to sleep will continue.
I've been fighting this cold for a few days now and I thought I had slept it off on Saturday. No such luck. I didn't sleep very well last night. The only thing I can really take is Sudifed or Benedryl. Neither of which helps me to really sleep. SO... I have been up since 4am. YUCK and can't really sleep because of the coughing.
My mom suggested hot water with honey and lemon in it. I'm thinking that would help if I had a sour throat... but I don't, just the draining that makes me cough a lot.
So needless to say I am super hot. Or something. And the fight to sleep will continue.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Mental Preparation
Just needed to blog quick this morning before I start the day.
Having mixed feelings today. I am super excited that Eric starts his job today. It will be really good for him and will help pay the bills. He doesn't have to work till 2:30 so he doesn't get off till 10:30. Part of me is excited because I feel that I will have more motivation to do homework tonight. The other part of me is sad because I probably won't see him till tomorrow. Our schedules will be opposite one another which will come in handy when we have the baby but also tough for us to be together. Maybe it will just help us be more intentional about spending time together. AND really, it's only a few months. We can handle just about anything for a few months!
Getting myself mentally prepared for the week ahead. Or at least trying to. Still trying to get over this cold, which doesn't help. Also feeling VERY large today! I can't imagine having multiples. Defiantly ready to be done with the whole pregnancy thing. Or maybe I'm just done with the warm weather thing! Either way I'm tired of being huge! Kind of depressing that I have 9 more weeks left.
Having mixed feelings today. I am super excited that Eric starts his job today. It will be really good for him and will help pay the bills. He doesn't have to work till 2:30 so he doesn't get off till 10:30. Part of me is excited because I feel that I will have more motivation to do homework tonight. The other part of me is sad because I probably won't see him till tomorrow. Our schedules will be opposite one another which will come in handy when we have the baby but also tough for us to be together. Maybe it will just help us be more intentional about spending time together. AND really, it's only a few months. We can handle just about anything for a few months!
Getting myself mentally prepared for the week ahead. Or at least trying to. Still trying to get over this cold, which doesn't help. Also feeling VERY large today! I can't imagine having multiples. Defiantly ready to be done with the whole pregnancy thing. Or maybe I'm just done with the warm weather thing! Either way I'm tired of being huge! Kind of depressing that I have 9 more weeks left.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Life Struggles
Motivation...
I need some....
Yesterday I woke up sick so I decided just to sleep most of the day, after an afternoon walk. Well it worked for the most part and I feel a ton better. My sour throat is gone and all that is left is some sinus stuff. But livable none the less!
Today I have decided is school work day. Deciding and doing are two totally different things. I dropped the boys off at the Vikings game. They were able to get really cheap tickets late last night and I found out this morning that their plan for getting down there was me. I don't care because it saves money with parking and stuff and traffic wasn't too bad. That and we really aren't that far away from the dome.
So now I try to find motivation.... maybe it's hiding out on the couch.. under a blanket. Maybe it's in my dreams and I should go looking there. Or maybe I should stop making excuses and just do it.
I need some....
Yesterday I woke up sick so I decided just to sleep most of the day, after an afternoon walk. Well it worked for the most part and I feel a ton better. My sour throat is gone and all that is left is some sinus stuff. But livable none the less!
Today I have decided is school work day. Deciding and doing are two totally different things. I dropped the boys off at the Vikings game. They were able to get really cheap tickets late last night and I found out this morning that their plan for getting down there was me. I don't care because it saves money with parking and stuff and traffic wasn't too bad. That and we really aren't that far away from the dome.
So now I try to find motivation.... maybe it's hiding out on the couch.. under a blanket. Maybe it's in my dreams and I should go looking there. Or maybe I should stop making excuses and just do it.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Things Seem To Come To Me In Fives
1. Found some more good underwear... still need some more but bought only 3 pairs to see if I like these. So far so good!
2. The eating and conversation at Eric's cousin's house was excellent and glad I went. Isn't that always the way it works. The end of the day and you don't really feel like something but once you do it, you end up really appreciating that you did and enjoying yourself. It was fun to hear family stories and listen to them reminisce.
3. Prayer... Something I realized this last week is that I missed others praying. Monday I was sitting in class and the proff prayed before we started class. I missed that. Being in a year of praying for everyone else, taking care of everyone else, I missed someone taking care of my faith and nurturing that in me. The crazy thing is that I didn't even know it was missing or that I missed it so much. Also on Friday I sat in chapel and realized how much I miss being a congregation member and not having to lead. Don't get me wrong... I love leading too, but it's nice to be on the other end sometimes too again. I have also noticed that it's hard to want to go to church on Sunday mornings. Part of church for me the last year has been the relationship part with other people. To find a new church(s) seems sad and like the final step that internship is over. I found out how important relationships are to me while worshiping.
4. Why do we realize things after the fact? A lot of times we can't fully enjoy things until they are over... why is that?
5. I found myself envious of men this weekend. I am envious of their relationships with on another. I'm envious that they have something like "football" to hang out around and have meanless conversation. I want that! Women tend to lean towards more heavy conversation. Deeper conversation if you will. Not that I don't want that either, because I really enjoy that also. But I sometimes I just want meaningless conversation. Sunday afternoon I hung out with the boys at BWW and watched football. It was wonderful... things were said, comments were made, but nothing too deep, nothing really personal. And if there is anything personal it last for about 2 minutes, everyone gets the jist and then they move on. Not that I want that all the time, but sometimes it's kind of nice!
2. The eating and conversation at Eric's cousin's house was excellent and glad I went. Isn't that always the way it works. The end of the day and you don't really feel like something but once you do it, you end up really appreciating that you did and enjoying yourself. It was fun to hear family stories and listen to them reminisce.
3. Prayer... Something I realized this last week is that I missed others praying. Monday I was sitting in class and the proff prayed before we started class. I missed that. Being in a year of praying for everyone else, taking care of everyone else, I missed someone taking care of my faith and nurturing that in me. The crazy thing is that I didn't even know it was missing or that I missed it so much. Also on Friday I sat in chapel and realized how much I miss being a congregation member and not having to lead. Don't get me wrong... I love leading too, but it's nice to be on the other end sometimes too again. I have also noticed that it's hard to want to go to church on Sunday mornings. Part of church for me the last year has been the relationship part with other people. To find a new church(s) seems sad and like the final step that internship is over. I found out how important relationships are to me while worshiping.
4. Why do we realize things after the fact? A lot of times we can't fully enjoy things until they are over... why is that?
5. I found myself envious of men this weekend. I am envious of their relationships with on another. I'm envious that they have something like "football" to hang out around and have meanless conversation. I want that! Women tend to lean towards more heavy conversation. Deeper conversation if you will. Not that I don't want that either, because I really enjoy that also. But I sometimes I just want meaningless conversation. Sunday afternoon I hung out with the boys at BWW and watched football. It was wonderful... things were said, comments were made, but nothing too deep, nothing really personal. And if there is anything personal it last for about 2 minutes, everyone gets the jist and then they move on. Not that I want that all the time, but sometimes it's kind of nice!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Underwear and Good Days
Not a lot new to post because all I did was sit in class all day.
Tonight we are headed to Eric's cousin's house for supper. Part of me wants to go and the other part is so overwhelmed by life (getting stuff done around the house) and homework. I just keep telling myself that it's okay to not stay all night and just come home at a decent time. We also just threw some laundry in and will throw it in the dryer before we head over there. That's how bad we needed to do laundry. Mainly because I'm running out of underwear that fits. I just need to break down and go buy some more at Vicky's. They have the best underwear! And what I have decided from this situation is that a good pair of underwear can really make your day better. A bad pair can make you uncomfortable all day and just make you crabby. So my new theory on crabby people is that they just need to go find a good pair of underwear. With that good pair of underwear you can take on the world.
Good pair of underwear = good day!
So tomorrow I will have good underwear again and a good day!
Tonight we are headed to Eric's cousin's house for supper. Part of me wants to go and the other part is so overwhelmed by life (getting stuff done around the house) and homework. I just keep telling myself that it's okay to not stay all night and just come home at a decent time. We also just threw some laundry in and will throw it in the dryer before we head over there. That's how bad we needed to do laundry. Mainly because I'm running out of underwear that fits. I just need to break down and go buy some more at Vicky's. They have the best underwear! And what I have decided from this situation is that a good pair of underwear can really make your day better. A bad pair can make you uncomfortable all day and just make you crabby. So my new theory on crabby people is that they just need to go find a good pair of underwear. With that good pair of underwear you can take on the world.
Good pair of underwear = good day!
So tomorrow I will have good underwear again and a good day!
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
5 thoughts for the day before 8:30am
Few things to cover already this morning.
1. Lady in the campus center snoring.
This is the second week in a row that she has been here before 7:30am, pretending to read, and snoring in one of the chairs. The first week I gave her a break because I knew that she was waiting to do first week stuff that started at 8:30am. Why she was here before 7:30am.. no one really knows. I thought maybe she was just really excited. (could happen) This morning I woke her up when I came through the doors into the OCC and 3 or 4 people proceeded to do the same as they walked through the doors. This morning however there is nothing going on in the OCC that she would need to be here so early. I'm thinking skip the reading in the morning and sleep in that extra 1/2 hour. I hope she has a class at 8am and that's why she is up this early.
2. Creatures of habbit
This morning when I got here, took me about 3 minutes, I found myself with the urge to pee again. The urge to pee and actually having to pee are two different things. But none the less feeling like I might wet myeslf I decided I should probably visit the little girls room. Yup, only a dribble dribble, story of my life. But while I was going to the bathroom I had a revelation. (Maybe I should sit in the bathroom more often) My revelation was that I always go to the same stall. The second one from the door. This habbit has not changed in the year I was gone. I didn't even have to think about this, I just automatically go to that stall. What else do I do that I don't even realize? Something to ponder....
3. I find myself actually enjoying classes
Not that I hated them before but I view them in light of being out in the parish. I find that it is nice to have more ideas for the parish and ways to teach others. I am looking forward to my class on the Gospel of John and the epistles because it's so practical. All the texts that we are studing in depth are lectionary texts and will help me to write better sermons, always a plus. Our big project is a bible study for a congregation. I'm all about this also becasue I can actually use it at some point in the parish. Class just looks different from this side. I guess it has to do with growth. Always fun to be able to look back and see that I have actually grown and changed in the last year... besides getting wider :)
4. Getting wider
Speaking of growth.... I put on my black dress pants which I haven't had on since August 14th. Less than a month really. And they fit a LOT differently. I have grown a lot! I'm kind of scared to see how much larger I am going to get in the next couple of months. We are now at 29 weeks and 4 days.
5. Sweet Nectar
The lady sleeping on the OCC this morning made me really tired as soon as I got here. A little coffee, (half caff, half decaff), has REALLY helped. Now I can actually read for class now and not fall a sleep. Yay for caffeine!
1. Lady in the campus center snoring.
This is the second week in a row that she has been here before 7:30am, pretending to read, and snoring in one of the chairs. The first week I gave her a break because I knew that she was waiting to do first week stuff that started at 8:30am. Why she was here before 7:30am.. no one really knows. I thought maybe she was just really excited. (could happen) This morning I woke her up when I came through the doors into the OCC and 3 or 4 people proceeded to do the same as they walked through the doors. This morning however there is nothing going on in the OCC that she would need to be here so early. I'm thinking skip the reading in the morning and sleep in that extra 1/2 hour. I hope she has a class at 8am and that's why she is up this early.
2. Creatures of habbit
This morning when I got here, took me about 3 minutes, I found myself with the urge to pee again. The urge to pee and actually having to pee are two different things. But none the less feeling like I might wet myeslf I decided I should probably visit the little girls room. Yup, only a dribble dribble, story of my life. But while I was going to the bathroom I had a revelation. (Maybe I should sit in the bathroom more often) My revelation was that I always go to the same stall. The second one from the door. This habbit has not changed in the year I was gone. I didn't even have to think about this, I just automatically go to that stall. What else do I do that I don't even realize? Something to ponder....
3. I find myself actually enjoying classes
Not that I hated them before but I view them in light of being out in the parish. I find that it is nice to have more ideas for the parish and ways to teach others. I am looking forward to my class on the Gospel of John and the epistles because it's so practical. All the texts that we are studing in depth are lectionary texts and will help me to write better sermons, always a plus. Our big project is a bible study for a congregation. I'm all about this also becasue I can actually use it at some point in the parish. Class just looks different from this side. I guess it has to do with growth. Always fun to be able to look back and see that I have actually grown and changed in the last year... besides getting wider :)
4. Getting wider
Speaking of growth.... I put on my black dress pants which I haven't had on since August 14th. Less than a month really. And they fit a LOT differently. I have grown a lot! I'm kind of scared to see how much larger I am going to get in the next couple of months. We are now at 29 weeks and 4 days.
5. Sweet Nectar
The lady sleeping on the OCC this morning made me really tired as soon as I got here. A little coffee, (half caff, half decaff), has REALLY helped. Now I can actually read for class now and not fall a sleep. Yay for caffeine!
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Weekend Catch-up
Thought I would post quick before I started on the homework.
First thought of the day...
- I always feel like I need to seat belt myself in while sitting in the chair at the infodesk. Why?
Second thought...
This weekend was really good and relaxing. By weekend I mean Friday-Saturday. Friday we went to our first doctors appointment with Dr. Baker. I was kind of nervous, not really sure what to expect. Ended up being really good. I feel really relaxed about things and even more excited. She started to talk about some of the things that we will talk more about in the next few visits. More stuff on how I will know that I am going into labor, counting how many times the baby kicks in a hour. Things of those nature. It makes me excited and even more ready to have this baby. Today is the beginning of 29 weeks. 29 weeks and 1 day to be exact. Crazy how fast it's gone really. I have to get on the ball and sign us up for birthing classes. Oh and the doctors office gave us a free diaper bag. We already have one but it's nice to know that if something would happen we have a spare. Maybe I can just keep it in the car or something for a just in case.
Friday night we watched this crazy mini series on ABC Family called Samurai Girl. It's actually pretty good and of course now we are addicted. I think tonight might be the last part of the series. Along with watching Samurai Girl we also played Cribbage. Thanks Moe! Eric bought me a board for part of my birthday present and so we played a couple games. I won the first and he won the second. I'm getting the hang of it more and more. Learning how to count everything right and all the rules.
Saturday some friends of ours were in town. Really good to see them and catch-up. We met up at Ikea and then headed down to the Renaissance Festival. It was a lot of fun and we catch some good shows. I had never been there and always wanted to check it out. I figured since we won't always live this close we should probably go. After sitting through the traffic to get out we grabbed some supper at 9pm at Perkins. It was nice to just sit there and be the two of us later at night. Once we got home we figured out that we missed part 3 of the Samurai Girl mini series but got caught up with part 4.
And that leaves us at today. Eric is enjoying himself watching football all day and I am working. It's the first day of the season so he is pretty pumped. I'll get my husband back sometime after the superbowl.
First thought of the day...
- I always feel like I need to seat belt myself in while sitting in the chair at the infodesk. Why?
Second thought...
This weekend was really good and relaxing. By weekend I mean Friday-Saturday. Friday we went to our first doctors appointment with Dr. Baker. I was kind of nervous, not really sure what to expect. Ended up being really good. I feel really relaxed about things and even more excited. She started to talk about some of the things that we will talk more about in the next few visits. More stuff on how I will know that I am going into labor, counting how many times the baby kicks in a hour. Things of those nature. It makes me excited and even more ready to have this baby. Today is the beginning of 29 weeks. 29 weeks and 1 day to be exact. Crazy how fast it's gone really. I have to get on the ball and sign us up for birthing classes. Oh and the doctors office gave us a free diaper bag. We already have one but it's nice to know that if something would happen we have a spare. Maybe I can just keep it in the car or something for a just in case.
Friday night we watched this crazy mini series on ABC Family called Samurai Girl. It's actually pretty good and of course now we are addicted. I think tonight might be the last part of the series. Along with watching Samurai Girl we also played Cribbage. Thanks Moe! Eric bought me a board for part of my birthday present and so we played a couple games. I won the first and he won the second. I'm getting the hang of it more and more. Learning how to count everything right and all the rules.
Saturday some friends of ours were in town. Really good to see them and catch-up. We met up at Ikea and then headed down to the Renaissance Festival. It was a lot of fun and we catch some good shows. I had never been there and always wanted to check it out. I figured since we won't always live this close we should probably go. After sitting through the traffic to get out we grabbed some supper at 9pm at Perkins. It was nice to just sit there and be the two of us later at night. Once we got home we figured out that we missed part 3 of the Samurai Girl mini series but got caught up with part 4.
And that leaves us at today. Eric is enjoying himself watching football all day and I am working. It's the first day of the season so he is pretty pumped. I'll get my husband back sometime after the superbowl.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Too Much Time
It's taken me a while to post today but here it is!
After that build up, not much new. I was scheduled to work at the desk from 7:30am-2pm but someone needed someone to cover part of their shift so I came back from 3:30pm-6pm. Good money is what I keep thinking, and I get paid to get stuff done! Go Me! Not hard work and I am making a little more money. It's already after 5 and I feel like I just got back here. If it was a slow Saturday it would be different working but there is a lot going on and I don't have a ton to do.
Today when I got back here at 3:30 there was a can of pop (unopened) and 5 Oreo cookies sitting on the desk. I assumed that they were someone's and Jeff was here ranting so I forgot to ask the person leaving where the cookies and pop came from. So, almost 2 hours later here they sit.
So the question is.. do you eat food that you have no idea where it came from? They aren't in any sort of wrapper. Who knows who has touched them. I think I'll go with the no eating of the cookies.
Eating of cookies leads me to another thing I was going to blog about. (I just realized that I have way too much time on my hands to blog this much.) But sitting here at the desk I have seen a lot of people that are REALLY over weight. To the point that they can't go up and down stairs. It's mostly because their knees are so bad from caring all that weight all the time. Being someone who has struggled with her weight her whole life I get that it's hard. But at the same time it makes me realize that I never want to be that big or allow myself to eat that much. The thought of allowing myself to do that scares me. I don't want to be a slave to food. I want to be able to move, go when and where I want to. To run up and down stairs and not be winded. I don't want to be tied down to a body like that. That is always motivation to me to walk a few more steps, eat a few bites less, and to love myself enough to care about my body.
After that build up, not much new. I was scheduled to work at the desk from 7:30am-2pm but someone needed someone to cover part of their shift so I came back from 3:30pm-6pm. Good money is what I keep thinking, and I get paid to get stuff done! Go Me! Not hard work and I am making a little more money. It's already after 5 and I feel like I just got back here. If it was a slow Saturday it would be different working but there is a lot going on and I don't have a ton to do.
Today when I got back here at 3:30 there was a can of pop (unopened) and 5 Oreo cookies sitting on the desk. I assumed that they were someone's and Jeff was here ranting so I forgot to ask the person leaving where the cookies and pop came from. So, almost 2 hours later here they sit.
So the question is.. do you eat food that you have no idea where it came from? They aren't in any sort of wrapper. Who knows who has touched them. I think I'll go with the no eating of the cookies.
Eating of cookies leads me to another thing I was going to blog about. (I just realized that I have way too much time on my hands to blog this much.) But sitting here at the desk I have seen a lot of people that are REALLY over weight. To the point that they can't go up and down stairs. It's mostly because their knees are so bad from caring all that weight all the time. Being someone who has struggled with her weight her whole life I get that it's hard. But at the same time it makes me realize that I never want to be that big or allow myself to eat that much. The thought of allowing myself to do that scares me. I don't want to be a slave to food. I want to be able to move, go when and where I want to. To run up and down stairs and not be winded. I don't want to be tied down to a body like that. That is always motivation to me to walk a few more steps, eat a few bites less, and to love myself enough to care about my body.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
REALLY?
So this afternoon I have some people, people being staff and students, who are playing the drums, sax, and just a bunch of random instruments right across the room from me in the main commons area. This is all wonderful and all for people who are walking through and the new students. It just really SUCKS for me trying to answer the phone!!!!
It kind of makes me mad. Of all the places to set this up. I can't hear anything. No one standing in front of me, no one on the phone. I can tell people are frustrated when they call on the phone and I keep asking them what. I can tell they are wondering where and the world I am answer the phone at.
They either need to not have the main switchboard in the middle of everything or not have the loudest instruments in a really small place. I think I need more coffee or maybe some Prozac.
It kind of makes me mad. Of all the places to set this up. I can't hear anything. No one standing in front of me, no one on the phone. I can tell people are frustrated when they call on the phone and I keep asking them what. I can tell they are wondering where and the world I am answer the phone at.
They either need to not have the main switchboard in the middle of everything or not have the loudest instruments in a really small place. I think I need more coffee or maybe some Prozac.
Being A Good Lutheran
How can I possibly be a Lutheran.. hang out at a Lutheran institution and not drink coffee?!?!?! Not only am I tempted on a daily basis, but now I'm tempted on a minute by minute bases. It's like being a food addict and sitting at a buffet all day. Vowing to ones self not to eat anything. Doesn't happen! Can't happen.
Justification for my actions:
Eric and I are Lutheran ... therefore the baby will grow-up in the Lutheran tradition. Being a "good" Lutheran means that you drink a lot of coffee. Support the Fair Trade Coffee and stuff (also thinking globally). Because I am being a "good" mom, I need to slowly introduce my child to the finer things in the Lutheran tradition. I wouldn't want my child to grow-up feeling left out ever time there is coffee served... what kind of mother would I be?!?!
So:
Today I gave into the coffee. It's a slippery slope really. I figure I'm in the 3rd trimester and I can slowly introduce caffeine to the child. That way it's not such a shocker someday. I got half regular and half decaf. People say just drink decaf but I really love the kick it gives me. That doesn't make me a horrible person because I believe that I am not the only American that enjoys this feeling.
Therefore:
I am a happier person now. I can handle the million questions about the mailroom. I can handle the same little music ditty playing on a video over and over and over for 5 hours again today. I can handle questions about where the bathrooms are (which are located directly behind me and the sign is big and to my right). I can handle anything with a little bit of coffee!
Life IS good!
Justification for my actions:
Eric and I are Lutheran ... therefore the baby will grow-up in the Lutheran tradition. Being a "good" Lutheran means that you drink a lot of coffee. Support the Fair Trade Coffee and stuff (also thinking globally). Because I am being a "good" mom, I need to slowly introduce my child to the finer things in the Lutheran tradition. I wouldn't want my child to grow-up feeling left out ever time there is coffee served... what kind of mother would I be?!?!
So:
Today I gave into the coffee. It's a slippery slope really. I figure I'm in the 3rd trimester and I can slowly introduce caffeine to the child. That way it's not such a shocker someday. I got half regular and half decaf. People say just drink decaf but I really love the kick it gives me. That doesn't make me a horrible person because I believe that I am not the only American that enjoys this feeling.
Therefore:
I am a happier person now. I can handle the million questions about the mailroom. I can handle the same little music ditty playing on a video over and over and over for 5 hours again today. I can handle questions about where the bathrooms are (which are located directly behind me and the sign is big and to my right). I can handle anything with a little bit of coffee!
Life IS good!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Who Does That?!?!
Who puts their empty pop can on the infodesk and walks away? The recycling bin thing is like 10 feet away. REALLY?!?!
1st Day of 1st Week / Should Have Been A Super Hero
So the seminary does this thing called "1st Week" It's for all the new students to come and get orientated to the seminary and all that is offered here.
I'm trying really hard to remember what it felt like to be the "new person." To now know anything about campus or what was going on. To have expectations and nervousness about what is ahead. It's interesting to see all of their faces and to watch people making new connections. I'm trying to remember what that was like in this space, in this place. Trying to be as welcoming as possible and ease some the craziness of the day. The infodesk is suppose to know everything. Know exactly who to contact in a matter of seconds. And at the same time sit here and look pretty.
Over the weekend I found that I missed coming up to work at 7:30am and having a good hour to just ease into the day. That hour that no one is really up yet and I have time to sit here and think. I don't usually like getting up early but for some reason have really enjoyed it. Maybe it's just my body preparing me to be a Mom. Weird!
Just a quick complaint for the day.... So I just got a call at the desk and of course someone else is not doing their job, aka checking messages. The person calling can't leave a message. The other phone number that I have feeds back into the full voicemail. There isn't anything I can do! BUT because I'm the infodesk I am magically suppose to run the seminary. So I transferred this person to someone else that does a little bit of booking rooms and now hope that I don't get another phone call from this lady. I really should have been born a super hero! Let's be honest...
I have now been asked about 6 times how people get their mail and how they get a mailbox. Just because we sit infront of the mailboxes and mailroom we now need to know everything about the mail. Soomething tells me that it would be better planning on the mailrooms part if they were actually here in the early mornings of first week to help field some of those questions. I know.. I'm just a guiness and I'm sure the first person to ever this! Once again... should have been born a super hero!
I'm trying really hard to remember what it felt like to be the "new person." To now know anything about campus or what was going on. To have expectations and nervousness about what is ahead. It's interesting to see all of their faces and to watch people making new connections. I'm trying to remember what that was like in this space, in this place. Trying to be as welcoming as possible and ease some the craziness of the day. The infodesk is suppose to know everything. Know exactly who to contact in a matter of seconds. And at the same time sit here and look pretty.
Over the weekend I found that I missed coming up to work at 7:30am and having a good hour to just ease into the day. That hour that no one is really up yet and I have time to sit here and think. I don't usually like getting up early but for some reason have really enjoyed it. Maybe it's just my body preparing me to be a Mom. Weird!
Just a quick complaint for the day.... So I just got a call at the desk and of course someone else is not doing their job, aka checking messages. The person calling can't leave a message. The other phone number that I have feeds back into the full voicemail. There isn't anything I can do! BUT because I'm the infodesk I am magically suppose to run the seminary. So I transferred this person to someone else that does a little bit of booking rooms and now hope that I don't get another phone call from this lady. I really should have been born a super hero! Let's be honest...
I have now been asked about 6 times how people get their mail and how they get a mailbox. Just because we sit infront of the mailboxes and mailroom we now need to know everything about the mail. Soomething tells me that it would be better planning on the mailrooms part if they were actually here in the early mornings of first week to help field some of those questions. I know.. I'm just a guiness and I'm sure the first person to ever this! Once again... should have been born a super hero!
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