A "why me" moment!

I guess it's probably pretty natural this time of year to for a Pastor to ask the question... am I in the right line of work?

Don't get me wrong, I love a good Christmas service just as much as anyone.  In fact it's kind of hard for me not to have a "traditional" Christmas.  And I suppose, if it were just me, I would get over it and just do it.... but it's not.

So today I sit there.  After 4 church services last night (3:45, 5:30, 7:30, and we can't forget 11pm).  And ponder, for my children, if this is what I'm suppose to be doing?  Will they ever have the "traditional" Christmas Eve?  Or do we just have to work really hard at making up our own "traditions"?

And maybe this is a natural wonder... maybe even a healthy wonder.  To always be considering where God is calling me....

And then I can't help but look around.  I can't help but understand that in the midst of a "why me" moment I see Christ.

This week alone their have been a lot of God moments and my family has been a part of it.  And I can't forget those moments either.

I was able to take my kids along with me as we handed out two separate envelopes with $250 cash to people who wouldn't have had a Christmas this year.  As the hugs and the tears came, I hope my children have started to learn the lesson that giving is so much more fun then receiving!

I see Christ in the people that I serve.  In their hugs and warm handshakes.  In their generous gifts and compliments.  In their care for not only my health, but the health of my family.  I see Christ and remember I how blessed I am.

I know everyone has those "why me" moments, and I kind of continue to as I write this blog on Christmas Day in the office of the church.  Waiting for 5-10 people to show up for the 2nd service this morning.  But am also reminded to look around.  To maybe so worrying about myself so much, and see God at work in the world.  And all the blessing that I have been given!

Blessed - but what does it REALLY mean?

I have been attending a text study with local Pastor from many different denominations on Thursday mornings.  I have found it to an important part of my week and fills me as a person.  It's been so much fun to be challenged again and to be with a group of people who care for each other.  It is also fun to really dig deep into the coming weeks texts.  They have been a blessing for me as I continue to transition into life here in Pierre.  


Last week the idea of blessed came up.  In the book of Isaiah, blessed doesn't mean all of the things that God has given us or "blessed" us with, but being "blessed" by God means to be called.  Kind of puts a different twist and makes you really think if you want to be "blessed" by God or not.


I struggle sometimes with being called to be a Pastor.  There are some days were I truly feel blessed and am able to be a part of people's lives in a way that takes my breath away.  Other days I plan out what I could do for a different job.....   Some days being called feels more like a blessing than others!  


But we are all called... in many different ways.  And the things that are the most challenging seem to bring about the biggest joys and satisfaction.  


I have been called to be a mother... and some days being called to be a mother feels more like a blessing than other days.  Last night Eli and Emma were playing so well together and laughing and laughing.  Their giggles were contagious.  It was so much fun watching them make memories together!  Eli has been so funny lately and he has no idea how funny he is.  One night I told him to pull up his pants because I could see his butt crack.  He got mad at me because he insisted that his butt was not cracked!!!  Or.. 2 nights ago he told me that his dad was going to read for the night and he was going to play on the iPad.  I asked him what Emma and I were going to do and he informed me that we would be cleaning the floors.  Eric about fell off his chair laughing.  Eli was then informed that not just girls do housework.  (I apologize in advance to his future wife for not teaching him better!)  


Through it all I am truly blessed... in all my callings.  They might not always be pretty.  I might not always like them.  I might have days when I mess them up or fail, but I have learned.. or maybe am continuing to learn.. that God calls us all to many places to do His work and that God equips us for the journey. 

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Thoughts from a rambling Pastor

This morning at 8:30am --- prime getting the kids dressed, fed, and out the door to daycare time --- a call came into my cell phone that I didn't recognize.  It was a really weird area code too.  I decided I should probably answer it.

"This is Sarah,"  I say.
"Yes Sarah, can I talk with your husband who is a Pastor," says the voice on the other end.

Taken back I say, "This is the Pastor."

He sounded like he had never heard of a female Pastor.  Like I was some new kind of phenomenon.  He was trying to sell this bible on audio thing but was more interested in the fact that I was a female Pastor.

Most days I forget that a female Pastor isn't that common.... or I should say, many people haven't caught up to the actuality of female Pastors.  At seminary, and the conference I am currently in, we are half male and half female.  It's funny how it takes the church, and people in the church, many years to catch up to actual life and the reality around them.

Why is it that the church feels so behind the rest of the world?  Why do we spend so much time fighting and worrying about the carpet, front doors, the kitchen, all the details, and don't get that passionate about the actual mission of the Word!?!?!

I think that's why young people aren't coming to church... or at least part of the reason.  If that is all the church is about, who wants to be a part of that?

Are we relevant to todays families?  Do we make going to church important to everyday life.  Do I feed people on a Sunday morning?  How can I do that better?  How can WE do that better?

Change

Ecclesiastes 3  (The Message Bible)

There's a Right Time for Everything

 ¹ There's an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth: 

 ^2-8 A right time for birth and another for death, 
   A right time to plant and another to reap, 
   A right time to kill and another to heal, 
   A right time to destroy and another to construct, 
   A right time to cry and another to laugh, 
   A right time to lament and another to cheer, 
   A right time to make love and another to abstain, 
   A right time to embrace and another to part, 
   A right time to search and another to count your losses, 
   A right time to hold on and another to let go, 
   A right time to rip out and another to mend, 
   A right time to shut up and another to speak up, 
   A right time to love and another to hate, 
   A right time to wage war and another to make peace.

 ^9-13 But in the end, does it really make a difference what anyone does? I've had a good look at what God has given us to do—busywork, mostly. True, God made everything beautiful in itself and in its time—but he's left us in the dark, so we can never know what God is up to, whether he's coming or going. I've decided that there's nothing better to do than go ahead and have a good time and get the most we can out of life. That's it—eat, drink, and make the most of your job. It's God's gift.

 ¹⁴ I've also concluded that whatever God does, that's the way it's going to be, always. No addition, no subtraction. God's done it and that's it. That's so we'll quit asking questions and simply worship in holy fear.
 ¹⁵ Whatever was, is.
   Whatever will be, is.
   That's how it always is with God.

Lately I have been really into reading scripture from the message bible.  I just love the freedom and insight into some of the translations.  

AND today as I think through our decision to move to Pierre, South Dakota, I am struck by the words from Ecclesiastes.  


There are moments when I see God's plan so clearly and then there are moments that I question it.  I just need to "quit asking questions and simply worship in holy fear."  God knows what will be, what was, and how it will all work out.  And I need to stop questioning that.  


Don't get me wrong.  We are really excited for our family but sad to say good-bye.  Hard to say good-bye.  


So we go forward trusting in God.  And hoping that some packing gnomes show up somewhere along the way.  I have found my unpacking gnomes (Eli and Emma) I just need to find the ones that help pack.   

Spring

In need of some Spring and new life.  It's still cold and snowy outside my window, so inside my blog I do what I want!  So, Spring it is!