I want to do anything BUT memorize right now! ANYTHING!!
I'm trying to memorize the small catechism and the 28 articles of the AC. I've been getting a lot done this morning but am tired of it. I just want to be done. So much to memorize. This is why I never went out for any plays and why it took me months to memorize my oratory piece... and I wrote it! I memorize in concepts, ideas, outline form. Not word for word, verb for verb. But I will preserver... I will memorize all by Wednesday... I will feel better and finish writing my Jesus paper. I will once again be able to read a book for fun.... okay.. that might be a while.. but someday!
Monday, April 9, 2007
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Anticipation
THE SUN IS OUT!
Today I was driving up the hill to work and the sun was in my eyes.. I couldn't see anything! A little dangerous, yes. But THE SUN IS OUT!
I love rain, don't get me wrong. Only because I know that it leads to new growth and life. But we need the sun to do that also. For some reason I think my moods revolve around light. I need some to be a functioning human being... not just fake light either. For real light, the big glorious sun. ahhhh the anticipation of summer and heat. Makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.
Today I drive for 4 1/2 hours again. But that's okay. I am thankful for the car to be able to take that drive. I am thankful for the second family which I will soon be married into and already feel a part of. I am thankful for the wonderful friend and finance which I am going to go visit.
Tonight and Good Friday we are going to go to my Internship Site for worship services. I am excited to have a sneak peak at what my life will be like in a few months. I am trying not to get to ahead of myself so that I can finish up what needs to be finished here first, but it's hard not to get too excited.
I'm excited for Easter.... It's my favorite season. I want it to be Easter everyday! I love the build-up... I love the walk through the season. The law.. that we do not deserve what God does for us on the cross, that we can't do anything to save ourselves, and often fall very short. The gospel... that God takes on our sin and death so that we might have his righteousness and live with Him in His Kingdom forever. How I need to be reminded and hear that everyday! Maybe even every hour...
Today I was driving up the hill to work and the sun was in my eyes.. I couldn't see anything! A little dangerous, yes. But THE SUN IS OUT!
I love rain, don't get me wrong. Only because I know that it leads to new growth and life. But we need the sun to do that also. For some reason I think my moods revolve around light. I need some to be a functioning human being... not just fake light either. For real light, the big glorious sun. ahhhh the anticipation of summer and heat. Makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.
Today I drive for 4 1/2 hours again. But that's okay. I am thankful for the car to be able to take that drive. I am thankful for the second family which I will soon be married into and already feel a part of. I am thankful for the wonderful friend and finance which I am going to go visit.
Tonight and Good Friday we are going to go to my Internship Site for worship services. I am excited to have a sneak peak at what my life will be like in a few months. I am trying not to get to ahead of myself so that I can finish up what needs to be finished here first, but it's hard not to get too excited.
I'm excited for Easter.... It's my favorite season. I want it to be Easter everyday! I love the build-up... I love the walk through the season. The law.. that we do not deserve what God does for us on the cross, that we can't do anything to save ourselves, and often fall very short. The gospel... that God takes on our sin and death so that we might have his righteousness and live with Him in His Kingdom forever. How I need to be reminded and hear that everyday! Maybe even every hour...
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
15 in 4
So I have a new goal.... kind of a new goal... or maybe just more of a focused goal.
4 months... 13days until the wedding... a lot to get done....But I am about 15lbs away from my goal weight. That is about 4lbs a month. That doesn't seem so hard. And plus summer is almost upon us.. well at least spring, which leads to summer. And it's always easier to be more focused and intentional about getting out and moving everyday. I'm already down 30lbs.. what's another 15?
So there you have it, my 15 in 4 plan. Not so overwhelming... totally doable! And even a little exciting.
Now if the sun would just come out.....
4 months... 13days until the wedding... a lot to get done....But I am about 15lbs away from my goal weight. That is about 4lbs a month. That doesn't seem so hard. And plus summer is almost upon us.. well at least spring, which leads to summer. And it's always easier to be more focused and intentional about getting out and moving everyday. I'm already down 30lbs.. what's another 15?
So there you have it, my 15 in 4 plan. Not so overwhelming... totally doable! And even a little exciting.
Now if the sun would just come out.....
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Under Pressure... but yet not
Today has been a good day.
It was suppose to be a day where I got a lot done... but it wasn't. And that's okay. I took a LONG nap and it felt good. To escape for a little bit into my dreams.
I also was able to get some catch-up time with a good friend of mine. It was really good and much needed. We have now made Tuesday night a date night again.
Things are cleared up with the friends thing... or better at least. I am blessed and humbled that my friends love me so much that they need "Sarah Time." I just need to figure out how I can do that and stay true to that without making promises I can't keep and/or wearing myself out. I also need to make sure that the man I am marring doesn't feel like he is that last thing on my "to do list." Life is always a balancing act. I love change and sometime crave it, but there are also moments when it just plan sucks.
I think I have decided to stay up in the cities for 15 extra days... Till June 15th, so that I can get an extra .5 credit in and work a little more. That will still give me plenty of time to work on wedding stuff and get that all prepared. I work better under pressure then with too much time. Why is that? Eric would say that it's because he's a diamond. With the right kind of pressure and heat he will rock solid someday......men!
It was suppose to be a day where I got a lot done... but it wasn't. And that's okay. I took a LONG nap and it felt good. To escape for a little bit into my dreams.
I also was able to get some catch-up time with a good friend of mine. It was really good and much needed. We have now made Tuesday night a date night again.
Things are cleared up with the friends thing... or better at least. I am blessed and humbled that my friends love me so much that they need "Sarah Time." I just need to figure out how I can do that and stay true to that without making promises I can't keep and/or wearing myself out. I also need to make sure that the man I am marring doesn't feel like he is that last thing on my "to do list." Life is always a balancing act. I love change and sometime crave it, but there are also moments when it just plan sucks.
I think I have decided to stay up in the cities for 15 extra days... Till June 15th, so that I can get an extra .5 credit in and work a little more. That will still give me plenty of time to work on wedding stuff and get that all prepared. I work better under pressure then with too much time. Why is that? Eric would say that it's because he's a diamond. With the right kind of pressure and heat he will rock solid someday......men!
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Sucker Punched
Why is it when you have something that others want, they have to find a way to put you down. They don't look around to see that you too hurt and have uncertainties in your life also. They only look at the thing that they want and have to bring you down.
You would think that your best friends wouldn't do this to you. And I have to remember that it's core is in the problem of sin and jealousy. BUT... it still sucks. I still feel broken and hurt by my own friends.
You would think that people would be happy for you. You have someone in your life to help you through it, to take care of you. I wish that for my friends....
And if I were in a crappy relationship... would that make them feel better. I can't say that that is true either. In the past week I have been told by multiple friends that they are upset because I am now a couple with Eric. They are upset because it is not longer just me. They feel like I have this too perfect relationship. What is that suppose to mean?!?!?!
Maybe I just need to let them work through that and get use to that I'm getting married. Maybe it really doesn't have anything to do with my at all. But I just feel so beat up right now... like I have been sucker punched in the gut.
You would think that your best friends wouldn't do this to you. And I have to remember that it's core is in the problem of sin and jealousy. BUT... it still sucks. I still feel broken and hurt by my own friends.
You would think that people would be happy for you. You have someone in your life to help you through it, to take care of you. I wish that for my friends....
And if I were in a crappy relationship... would that make them feel better. I can't say that that is true either. In the past week I have been told by multiple friends that they are upset because I am now a couple with Eric. They are upset because it is not longer just me. They feel like I have this too perfect relationship. What is that suppose to mean?!?!?!
Maybe I just need to let them work through that and get use to that I'm getting married. Maybe it really doesn't have anything to do with my at all. But I just feel so beat up right now... like I have been sucker punched in the gut.
Monday, March 26, 2007
umm....
It's such a beautiful day out and I'm at work. I'm okay with that... money is always good to survive, but I would just be so nice to go hangout outside.
I'm sitting at the infodesk again dreaming of taking a nap on my futon with the window open and the breeze coming in.... only 1:15 till then. Till I'm FREE! or at least kind of free.
I should be doing homework... but why do that when I can just stare out the windows in front of me.... dreaming of escaping.
We have also had kind of a messed up few weeks and it's hard to keep focused. I feel like I have already checked out and it's hard to check back in only for a week and a half.
I am also working on my working out more again. My friend SH and I are trying to get back into the walking thing for the next couple of months while I'm here. I really need just to get back into a routine of exercise again.
With all that said and my lack of interested in anything besides staring off into now where... I'm going to try to focus on some theories of the atonement..... maybe I will just try to put words into sentences... maybe understand them.
I'm sitting at the infodesk again dreaming of taking a nap on my futon with the window open and the breeze coming in.... only 1:15 till then. Till I'm FREE! or at least kind of free.
I should be doing homework... but why do that when I can just stare out the windows in front of me.... dreaming of escaping.
We have also had kind of a messed up few weeks and it's hard to keep focused. I feel like I have already checked out and it's hard to check back in only for a week and a half.
I am also working on my working out more again. My friend SH and I are trying to get back into the walking thing for the next couple of months while I'm here. I really need just to get back into a routine of exercise again.
With all that said and my lack of interested in anything besides staring off into now where... I'm going to try to focus on some theories of the atonement..... maybe I will just try to put words into sentences... maybe understand them.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Things that make me smile
Yesterday I was hanging out at the desk... which I am wondering if I should just bring my sleeping bag and camp out there, it would save me on rent. That's a whole nother thought all together....
But I saw the most awesome thing in the world. Of all places in the OCC at LS was a man dressed in drag walking through the doors. It was awesome. I took a double take... how could you not?!?! It's not everday that I get to see that here. How fun!
But I saw the most awesome thing in the world. Of all places in the OCC at LS was a man dressed in drag walking through the doors. It was awesome. I took a double take... how could you not?!?! It's not everday that I get to see that here. How fun!
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