Parents and Wedding Stuff... Oh My!

Had a bit of a break down today. I love my family but one week is just too much to be loved so much. I know I am sooo blessed but I need some space too! AAHHHH. And I should be thankful and all that stuff... but I need some space. I keep reminding them that it isn't that I don't like them, it's just hard for us to spend over a week in the same house and everyone is in vacation.. so we sit around and stare at each other. Besides, they wouldn't want a daughter who enjoyed being at home and never moved out, this is the way life is suppose to be.. I need space and they need space. I just have to remind myself that this will be one of the last times this works this way.

I think part of the problem is trying to get this wedding stuff done too. It's gonna rock once it's done... but till then, it just might send me over the edge. The parents are helping pay for it.. well they are paying for 95% of it, so I feel like I can't do anything until I have passed it by them, which makes it really hard to do anything. Once again, should be really thankful.. but right now I am have to work really hard to have that state of mind.

I am happy though, we have gotten a lot done. Flowers pick out.. for the most part anyhow. I am really excited about it and the florist is really going to do a wonderful job. She is the type of person that just goes the extra mile. I'm meeting with the photographer tomorrow to sign my name on the dotted line and seal the deal. That will be a good feeling. I think she is going to be great too. She even comes to the rehearsal just to get to know us better. I think we finally came up with a way to get from the church to the reception.... get this.. it's cheaper to take a charter bus around that sets 49 people and some alcohol then a 12 people limo. I don't know.. will we even want to go to the reception?!?!?

Things are coming along... I'm just excited for Eric to get back up here. And I feel a lot better because my best friend Amber too me to the gym with one of her free passes. Working out hard always helps to relieve the stress and get a new perspective.

Christmas Craziness

Got to Sioux Falls on Tuesday evening. Totally surprised Eric. It was great to see the look on his face. He totally had no idea... damn I'm good!

I got to sit on the new furniture. It was great! We both fit on it laying down and so it's great for cuddling. We watched some TV and just hung out. It was exactly what I needed.

I have all of our Christmas shopping done! Feels really good and they are even wrapped. Can't get much better then that. Eric even shopped with me. It was good to have help and someone else's opinion. It was also good to just do the little things together again. I miss doing the little things with someone else.

Eric locked me out of one of the spare rooms all week long. It was driving me nuts! He said that my Christmas present was in there and I wasn't suppose to look... yeah right.. that just makes me want to look in there even more! But I was good.. and made myself stay out of the room. Yesterday we missed the UPS truck (which I guess held the final piece of the present) and so we had to wait till 8:00pm to pick it up from the store, and that was when I could find out what my present was. Eric was going more crazy then I was having to wait, so I knew it must be good. All of a sudden he brought a box into the living room and said Merry Christmas. I opened up the box and there was bed sheets in it. I was so confused! So I looked at the size.. Queen... once again, I don't have a Queen bed. Then it hit me. We were going to pick up the bed. He got a Sleep Number bed for Christmas! YAY! So we got to sleep on it last night.. I'm a 60. Eric's an 80. We are totally different.. which makes it great for us. I haven't slept so well in a long time! I even slept till 11am.. don't tell Eric because he had to work at 6am... I kind of feel bad for sleeping so late, but not really!

Tonight we head over to Eric's parents to have a little Christmas supper and then up to Aberdeen to spend Christmas with my parents. I'm really excited. A lot of my High School friends are going to be around tonight. Many of them I haven't seen in a long time, so it will be good to spend some quality time around some beers.

Oh yeah, heard from Sara (my boss at the info desk), and she got the job which she has been wanting for the last month! I am so excited for her! I will miss her tons but am so excited for her and the new job.

So Close

I'm so close to the end. The end of the semester that is. Which is okay with me.

Took my Hebrew written final today. Think it went okay... okay enough for me anyhow! It's done.. and that's what matters. We were told that if we show up tomorrow we get 2% extra credit and donuts.. can't go wrong there.

I have two papers which I need to proof read today, the other half of my Hebrew final at 9am on Wed (which pretty much requires me showing up) and I'm DONE!

It can't get much better then that! It was so tough for me to lock myself in the Library but now I'm so happy I did. While everyone else is complaining about all that they have to do, I can say that I'm pretty much done. D-O-N-E... DONE!

So what am I going to do with my few days of free time before I head down to Sioux Falls. Well, I am going to ...
A)Watch the couple of movies which I rented ... Superman and The DaVinci Code
B)Read my for fun book
C)Sleep
I'm so excited to just be able to do nothing... okay so I also have some errands to run (Christmas Presents) and I should clean my apartment before I go... ugh.. I don't want to be a grown-up sometimes!

I can't wait to get down to Sioux Falls. It's been since Thanksgiving since Eric and I have seen each other. Way too long, almost a month. The only thing which is keeping me going is that I get to spend 4 days with him and not just a quick weekend. I can't wait till we are actually married and I don't have to drive 4 1/2 to lay on the couch and watch a movie. I think this time of being apart so much just makes me appreciate him even more and the time that we do get to spend together.

I also want to say Thank you to Karen for planning Sara and Sarah date night... aka the Info Desk Christmas Party. A good time was had by all! :)

This is the Day....

....that the Lord has made and I will be glad and rejoice in it.
I'm once again reminded how wonderful life is. That it is a gift from God and how blessed I am.

....that I am actually going to go to the library.
I have broken down and am going to spend all day in the library. I am tired of having this paper hanging over me and want/need to just sit my butt down and do it. So today is the day! I am getting my distractions out of the way now so I can totally focus on Galatians 4:12-20.

....that I do laundry so I have underwear to wear.
I haven't been wearing underwear for a few days now. Haven't had time to do laundry. J/K.. but if I don't do laundry soon, that will be a reality. So today is the day that I go get money for quarters so I can have underwear for tomorrow.

So much to do... so little time. So many things to distract me.... but I won't let them today!

WHOOT WHOOT

Thursday is weigh in day for me. And of course today is Thursday, so therefore today was weigh in day.

This week has been a struggle for me. All I have wanted to do was eat because I have been super nervous about getting all my homework done. I'm starting to learn what my default mode is. I don't normally eat too much when I'm sad but I eat more when I am nervous or stressed. Which during finals times seems to be all the time. So weighing in this week was kind of scary. I thought for sure I had gained or maintained. I was nervous about gaining so I was going to be happy if I maintained.

Well... this morning I closed my eyes and stepped on the scale. I waited about 3o seconds before I looked down to see what the scale read. Once I finally opened my eyes I was very pleasantly surprised. I lost 4.5 lbs this past week. WHOOT WHOOT!

Weight has always been a struggle for me. I remember going to a different babysitter and she made us eat everything on our plate. Since then I have had a problem with portion sizes. America's idea of portion sizes when we eat out hasn't helped this problem at all. This weeks weight loss puts my total weight loss at 25lbs now!

25lbs... I just think about how much I use to be caring around. To pick something up that is 25lbs is a lot. How much better even my knees must feel. I feel the same. A little extra added energy but for the most part I feel the same. But there is no way I could be the same or look the same.

The best part about the end of the semester is...

Procrastination

More procrastination...

I came to work today and found that Santa had come to the info desk (aka the coolest boss in the world). She brought more wonderful distractions, which I find myself drawn towards more and more as the days fade by. I have already talked people who are walking by into playing a few games with my new miniature go fish card set. I played with my play-doh and made a pretzel. I will hang up my ornament on my tree at home, AND I am saving my mini paint set for a little bit later :) It's okay.. I know you all are jealous so I will let you come play go fish with me whenever you want. The gifts might have made my day... okay so they did. It just fun to get random stuff that just reminds you to be a kid again. Reminds me to play and that life is too short to live in grown-up world the whole time.

So procrastination is a good thing tonight and I still have a few hours to get some homework done. Tomorrow is another day. Another day that I promise myself I will go to the library and really get things done, which I probably won't do since I have been saying that for a week now :) But it's fun to imagine not writing papers till 3 in the morning and having my blood be 95% coffee. ...but how much fun would that really be?

Chair Massage Day

So today is chair massage day at Luther Sem. from 11-2pm AND of course... I am working from 11-12, have a meeting from 12-1:30, and class from 1:10-3.

So, I sit here, across from the chair massage guy (sorry Sara, I forgot his name), and can only imagine how wonderful a massage would be! So I will pretend to be content with my Diet Coke, with splenda.

The End

Sorrow and Joy

Yesterday was such a draining day I didn't even have the energy to write. I couldn't get my words to come out right, probably because my thoughts were so scattered.

Today seems to be better. Maybe because I was able to step away from the reality of a little boy, at age 2 1/2, who went home to be with his Heavenly Father. He has been sick since the day he was born but fought so hard to bring such great joy to all around him. They were told he would never walk, talk, but he did them all. It is amazing the joy that he brought into so many people's lives.

I never met him but heard great stories from his grandma who is the choir director at my home congregation in Aberdeen, SD. I remember when Kay told me that Melissa was pregnant, how excited she was at the thought of a grandchild. I also remember the updates on Ellis and how he was doing so well. It was good just to be there for the family. To celebrate his life... and celebrate his life we did. I left the funeral knowing that he will be missed, understanding the joy that he brought to family and friends, and hearing that there is hope in the resurrection. What an amazing family, how lucky they were to have him and for him to have such a wonderful family!

To see more about his life the link is http://www.caringbridge.org/mn/ellis/

In the Beginning

So I have finally been talked into creating another distraction in my life. I seem to find many distractions during this month we call December but .."who needs sleep, you're never gonna get it".. oh how I love the Barenaked Ladies!

Moving on... today has been another crazy day in the life of Sarah... the usual stuff. Made a quick trip to Target... ended up being at the right place at the right time when a little girl fell out of the shopping cart. Used a little EMT/chaplain skills. The paramedics checked her over and gave the mom a list of things to watch her for. That was the, in the moment conversation in my head, the detached Sarah.

After I walked away and continued to shop the emotions that I had stifled came back to me. It is always amazing to me how detached I can be in an emergency but once you walk away from it all those come back and you still have to deal with them. I remembered the look in the mom's eyes when her little girl wasn't responding properly to her name. The fear, the anxiety, the fact that a mom is suppose to be able to do all and at that moment she was helpless. How strong the love of a child is. And some of the guilt for being in too big of a hurry and making a mistake that hurt her daughter. How strong that love is and how we as humans still mess up.. and how much stronger God's love for us is but He doesn't mess up. I can't even imagine that love...

I am also amazed at how God just continues to use me. He continues to put me in these situations of medical emergencies. For what reason I'm not really sure right now.

The last couple of days I have felt so richly bless. I have spent some quality time with friends and can truly say I know what love is. I sometimes feel overwhelmed with keeping in touch with old friends and finding "quality" time with the ones who I can get together with. BUT... and this is a big BUT.. it's a good overwhelmed :) It's an awesome overwhelmed. When Eric and I sat down to think about who we wanted in our wedding we really struggled. We have so many people who have touched our lives and shown us God's love, we wanted everyone.. which of course isn't possible. So we will settle with inviting everyone... which brings me back to my point of just being so blessed.

Now if my papers would write themselves.... then I would be EXTREMELY blessed!