I'm getting the.. I need to move itch again. I think it happens when I feel like I am done with something. Or that it can only go down from here.
That's how I feel today.
I don't get super excited about coming to work. I wish I did. And part of me wonders if that is because I'm not where I am suppose to be or if it's just the place. I love the people but I could do with out the work frustrations.
I NEED a functional computer that I can print off of. That is reliable. A month is just TOO long to go without. And I'm so tired of skipping around from office to office. I feel like a nomad with no home. Either I'm down in the dungeon of the church (in my office) where no one comes and no one knows that I'm there, or I am hoping from office to office trying to get things done.
I feel like all of these emotions, and others of frustration, take up most of my days energy. I don't want to feel like a lackey anymore and I want to start feeling like I am actually making a difference.
On a happy note I had the best Sunday I have had in a long time! We bought Mario Kart for the Wii and had friends over. We had so much fun. I laughed until I cried several times! It feels so good to laugh until you almost pee your pants, but yet not.
When everyone left Eric and I went for a walk to the coffee shop and got Italian ices... they were really great. We got there right before they closed.
Than we watched Juno. Great movie. Still absorbing it all.
So I needed that after the grind of work right now. I am still discerning if it is the situation that I am in that makes this job so draining or if this isn't what I am meant to do. I feel that others are so sure that this is what I am suppose to do but why am I so drained from it then?!?!?!
6 comments:
It's only my opinion but I think it's the situation. You have a gift as a pastor but not having a solid place to ground yourself while trying to be that (i.e. no printer, no really office) makes it very difficult. It took me getting new furniture and rearranging all of it so my office became my own when i felt like it really was the place for me to be. It'll come. This is just a hoop to get through.
Can't wait to see you tomorrow!
Um, somehow, 7 time zones apart, we are experiencing the same thing. So ok, the details are minutely different, but the reality is there. I think you and I should both quit and go start a coffee shop together somewhere. Talking to all the people that come in is like pastoral care and we could even write "sermons" or "food for thought" sheets and put them out on the tables or something. We would do well together. What do you think? :) (and p.s. I'm one of those people who think you would make a fantastic pastor, too)
I like the coffee shop idea! That just makes my heart warm inside!
i'd come to the coffee shop!
seriously though sarah, i think you will make a great pastor. jumping through all those hoops certainly sucks, but i know you can do it.
Work environment and being equipped properly to do your job is very very important. never underestimate it. you are a fantastic pastor.
Yay for the coffee shop! We shall have to plan when we get back. We might as well finish our degrees, after all. All those walks should serve for some identifiable purpose other than my enjoyment, yes? ;)
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